SO EXCITED!!!

So the Lord has finally decided that it is time for our family to grow!!! I am PREGNANT!!!! I will be due at the end of July- not the prime time for my job, but I have decided that I don't live my life for my job- I live it for my family and that was God's plan!!!! I am very excited, but I am more nervous this time than I was with Cally. Scared that I may lose the baby at any time, anxious to see how well Cally will be big sister, but nervous because I don't want her to feel like I abandoned her!! I know I will get over that feeling, but I am struggling with it right now. But after trying for 6 months- I am so excited. I don't have to be depressed this month because it didn't happen. I can celebrate!!!!

sad day!!!

So I had a checkup today with my gastro dr in Columbia- he is the one who diagnosed about 15 years ago with my stomach problems- for those of you who don't know- cyclic vomiting syndrome- I have had all my life. So every since I have met him he has been a hero to me- someone who could help me and not let me suffer anymore like all the stupid idiot drs in rolla did. So anyway- he is about 75 years old now and he has been retired for about 5 years, only seeing the patients that he wants to see. But he told me today that he has to retire for good:( Sooo I can no longer get the scripts for the medicines that I need and that won't be good. He still says that as long as I don't tell his wife- I can still contact him if I need him, but he still can't give me my medicines. (apparently she is the one who wants him to retire) The only other doctor that treats this and is remotely close to here is in Milwakee. I kinda feel like the world crumbled at my feet today, along with the fact that my husband has the stomach flu and I feel like poop!!! I could never be a nurse- I have too sensitive of a tummy for that, due to all my problems. So now what do I do?? Travel to Milwakee every 6 months?????

Life- hummmmmm

So I know that I have a lot of great things in my life, but I have been so frustrated lately---just with everything. Not being able to stay at home with Cally because of my overload of student loans, just work in particular and all the drama, realizing that maybe God doesn't want us to extend our family right now; my hair, gaining 15 pounds back after hurting my back and not being able to work out; now that I am better trying to get that 15 pounds back off and more; how the weekends are too short-especially with all the people who are building houses in my life, even though my own house needs about 6 days a week with just my attention; my yard and how I wish it was all landscaped; losing friends over stupid drama; and that is just the beginning. I realize that maybe I should count my blessings instead of the things that I don't have or have lost, but sometimes that is just hard!!!!

soo

So about a week ago, I was getting ready for work and when I tried to put my pants on my back had a horrible pain in it and I went paralyzed in my legs( very scary by the way) after a trip to the ER and a regular DR appt a few days later, I have ruptured disc in my lower back. I have never even realized that I had slipped a disc out and then he said that I just bent the wrong way and there it went. So I have been on steriods and muscle relaxers and pain killers for about a week. It is horrible, I can walk now, but I still can't pick up Cally( which is the worst). I only have 2 1/2 days left of work, so thank goodness- except that I am trying to pack up everything so they can clean my room this summer. On the bright side, Matt has been amazing- Cally has been fed every meal, gotten every bath, and everything else that she needs!!! God has for sure blessed me with a great husband. My mom is also truly amazing, she came over and did every load of laundry that Matt wasn't able to get done. How blessed am I!!!

RAIN- ARRGH

I am so tired of the rain. It just sends me into a bad depressing mood. I am so ready for summer bbq mood. I am ready to open up the pool and just lounge all summer long. Right now three things stand in the way of that 1. the rain, 2. my job ( but only 13 more days that I have to get up and come to work) 3. the fact that we haven't gotten a chance to clean the pool yet( the water on top of the cover it a bit green, wonder what color it is under the cover???)

Where does life go?? It really just hit me today that my niece is 8 and my nephew turned 3 today and my little girl is 2. Where does it go?? And why doesn't it go that fast when I am at work???

Let's see...

Here is goes.... I have never ever done this before- but I am know blogging thanks to Tina!!! You would think that at the end of the school year it would be easy sailing, but wow is it stressful!!! 15 1/2 more days and I am free of assessments, 21 extra children, and work!!!! I am so ready to just relaxing and do nothing( well nothing out of the ordinary) I realize I still have laundry, cooking, and cleaning to do, but I can do all of that and not work at job Monday through Friday as well. Don't get me wrong- I LOVE my job, but I am ready for a break!!!